Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
