Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
