Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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