your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
