Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
