Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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