Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I could fuck to npr.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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