i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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