wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
