Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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