Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
