Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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