Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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