if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
