Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
