you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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