guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
