Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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