So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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