You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
