My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize