lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Your cock deserves a montage
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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