on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
