dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
