I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
