If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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