I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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