Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It's rum buckets o'clock
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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