I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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