I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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