You made me cry and you don't even care
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
