Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
