i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
