my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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