I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
