Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Less talking, more tequila
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
