closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
