hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize