I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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