im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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