my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
