How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Found your dick twin last night
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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