she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
