don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
