your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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