Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
