I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
