the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
