I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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