u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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