So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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