someone threw a dead crab at me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
