so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
