the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
