So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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