Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
