Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
