Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
