so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
