Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize