I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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