Well douche your snatch and let's go!
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
