Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
