There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
