she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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