I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
