Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
